What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
