Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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