New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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