i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
