Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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