You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
