he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
