No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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