so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
