Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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