I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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