im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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