Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
