My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
