There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
