In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
