it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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