I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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