Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
