hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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