so let's talk penis.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
