...so i touched it.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
