I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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