She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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