Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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