btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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