You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
