Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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