he puts the penis in happiness.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
