Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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