i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize