Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
