He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
