dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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