Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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