At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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