I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
