Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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