Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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