i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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