You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
