Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
