hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
