So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
