You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
