Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
