I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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