I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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