pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
