my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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